Thursday, April 2, 2020

April 1 2020

Well, today marks 21 days that we've been practicing quarantine.  So much has changed. Many states, including ours, are on lockdown/stay-at-home orders. Virginia's is set to go until June 10th. Even though I know it's going to go that long at least, it makes me feel like I can't breathe to think about that.

People that I have ties/connections to are starting to die.  A best friend's third cousin.  A friend of a friend.  Two separate friends former bosses.  A resident of my town. He suffered for 3 weeks in a hospital alone and died without ever getting to see his family again because no one was allowed in. The hospitals are running out of supplies and ventilators.  It's almost too much to bear.

I get so worried about family members who aren't taking this as seriously as they should.  If I hear my parents or grandma or anyone has so much as a sniffle, it sends me into a tailspin.

In addition to this being excruciatingly sad, it's also hard. I feel bad about it being hard but it's hard.  Both of us working from home and trying to take care of a  toddler is actually impossible.  As in, it's not possible.  It cannot be done.  We keep trying out different schedules to try and manage everything, but it's just a struggle.  I'm also often losing patience with both Haddie and Bill and try my best to hide it, but it's not natural to be around the same people 24/7, especially when a vast majority of that time is spent in the house. We have been trying to get out and take walks the best we can, but the weather has been fluctuating wildly.

Haddie's started to catch on that things are different.  She misses school. She's had a couple of instances where she started crying saying that she missed her friends or her belongings that are still at school.  I have no idea how to explain it to a 2 year old, so I've just been talking to her and then changing the subject.  We've been trying to do as many activities as we can and I've ordered some more fun things to entertain her, but it's just so hard.  She still has a very short attention span. We are trying our best.

We have been staying to ourselves, but we've had some human interaction and I want to do better.  I went to the grocery (wore gloves and a scarf around my face), Bill went to the liquor store, and our HVAC broke when the power surged, so an electrician came in our house and then the HVAC guy was in our house 3x. I "bought" a balance bike from a neighbor and we accidentally got a little close to each other when I picked it up.  We are going to be better from now on.  No more stores, but only delivery.

I actually don't have much to update, but I want to try and keep writing so that I have a record of this time and also to help with my anxiety over everything.

Like I did last time, I'm going to end this with 5 things that I'm grateful for:

1. Facetime! I've been talking to Kyle every single night while I make dinner, my mom has started using her Portal so we can see each other, and I've had a few happy hours with friends and family.
2. The me of 4 weeks ago for stocking up on food
3. Cooking skills I've developed over the years -- I've been making some excellent meals and it's been pretty easy for me which is a true blessing
4. Amazon. It's nice to get things I want within 2 days time since I can't go to the store
5. A neighborhood friend who spilled the beans on where to find morel mushrooms in my town! We went out twice this weekend and found 15.


Monday, March 16, 2020

Day 5

*I would prefer to be writing this all in a physical journal, but I've got Haddie sleeping next to me and this is just easier to do in the dark. These posts are mainly for me, so they may feel different to readers than other posts.  For the time being, my blog is returning to the style of the olden days and is just basically my online journal.*

Well, we are on Day 5 of our "quarantime," as Bill and I have taken to calling it.  We have decided to go all in with social distancing and to do our part to flatten the curve.  We have been at it for 5 days and only have gone out once, to the liquor store when we ran out of beer.  We really are going to try not to leave our house/neighborhood if at all possible for as long as possible.  The risk is just too high for us. 

Things really have taken a wild turn. All day long, there are updates and changes.  It's nearly impossible to keep up with everything.  San Francisco is under a shelter in place lockdown.  NYC has a curfew.

In many states including Maryland, most everything is shut down.  Just today, Gov. Hogan closed bars, restaurants, gyms, movie theaters, and yesterday all the gambling facilities.  Ohio did the same yesterday plus churches. My text threads with friends are just continuing updates of what is closing. All but one of my friends that I speak to regularly is now mandatory teleworking. My sister is finally done working and Kyle too.  My mom is teleworking as of Weds.  My dad is still doing some calls but will be staying home after Wednesday as well.  I hate knowing that they have to go out into the world, ugh.

This afternoon, Trump said in his briefing that things are "really bad" and that people should avoid gatherings of more than 10 people.  He went from saying we would be just fine, that we were doing great, to saying things are really bad, which we already knew.  He supposedly took a coronavirus test and it came back negative.  He also said that this could last until August.

All of the grocery stores are empty.  There's nothing on the shelves.  Nothing!  My dad went to Kroger today and said there was literally nothing, the shelves were just totally empty.  So many of my friends are posting video clips from Wegmans around here where it's just completely empty shelves/coolers.  Insane.

Spain is also under a lockdown.

Talk is starting to circulate more and more that this is something manmade/biological warfare.  I can't even say that it seems far-fetched to me and that is terrifying.

Our daycare still isn't closed, which is mind-boggling to me.  I get that people need to have childcare, I do get it, but it just seems so dangerous to me.  The kids cannot practice social distancing there on their own and there's certainly more than the 10, 25, maybe even 50 people "gathering" limits at daycares.  While kids don't seem to get too sick from it, they can, and they definitely can carry and spread it. 

We've kept Haddie home since Thursday last week.  Bill was home but took sick leave last week.  This was our first day where we were both teleworking with her at home and it was ... challenging.  She's also fighting a cold/allergies and her sleep schedule is all messed up. It's difficult but we are trying to make the most of it.  She watched all of the Daniel Tigers on our DVR.

Sidebar: file the following things under things I never want to forget -- she calls Daniel Tiger "My" or "Mine."  Occasionally she'll say "My Daniel."  She's saying "ott" for "on" and "osh" for "off."  She's learned her full name and she's so proud to say it.  In the mornings, she seems to talk up a storm.  Yesterday I was wearing a UD sweatshirt and I told her what it said and she kept pointing at it and saying "Me D," because she thought I was saying "YOU D."  How precious is that? She's learned words that describe feelings -- she loves to declare when she feels "cozy" and if she's happy, particularly when she gets what she wants she says "happy now."  She can go from full on crying to "happy now" in seconds.  Her favorite thing to eat right now is croutons and she's always wanting more "coo-tahns" with "ditdit" which means ketchup.

Anyways, moving on.  She watched all the Daniel Tigers and refused to watch anything else on tv.  She did watch some Doc McStuffins on Disney+, thanks to our in-laws! I am excited to explore more things for to watch on there.  She helped me prep marinade for the chicken. We took a virtual tour of the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, which she was surprisingly really into.  We started going through magazines to make a vision board and the pages she ripped out for hers were adorable - cats, dogs, ham sandwiches, hot dogs, fries, trucks.  All the basics you know!

Tomorrow, we want to start even more of a schedule.  I think I'm going to bite the bullet and place an Amazon order for some more things to help entertain her throughout the day.  I get a little hesitant to buy things online though -- I've read the virus can live on surfaces and cardboard for at least 24 hours. We'll see. 

We are already starting to run out of fresh food.  I cut up the huge pack of romaine I got at Costco and it's already wilty.  Sigh.  I know that it's "safe" to go to the grocery, but we really want to minimize it at all costs.  We have a ton of food to get us through the long haul, but I just love fresh veggies. 

I can't believe that tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day.  It is historically one of my favorite days of the entire year.  I look forward to it for weeks/months and now it's going to come and go with barely a mention.  I won't be going to the bar decked out in all green listening to loud Irish music thumping, spilling green beer everywhere as I try to do a jig. I won't smell corned beef and cabbage (or cabbage rolls) stewing in crock pots.  I am going to do my best to celebrate it at home, but it sure won't be the same.

Well, I'm going to go back to reading the news and see what changes have happened over the last hour.  I'll read sad news out of Italy and read the death counts across the world. I am not getting much sleep because my mind just spins at night.  I can't imagine how things can possibly every go back to normal.  It feels like the world as we know it is over.  The world that our kids will know is not the world that we have known our entire lives.  It also feels like we are the naive people at the beginning of a horror movie.  I hate not having any idea how bad this is going to get.  I hate that people aren't taking it seriously.  I hate knowing how much some people are struggling because their work laid them off, or schools are closed and kids aren't getting meals.  Obviously it's better for everyone to stay alive so that the kids at least have parents, but I had the hardships this is causing.  AHHH before I go down the dark path my mind seems to spiral down each night, I'm instead going to sign off by taking a moment and listing 5 things that I am grateful for today:

1. I am so lucky that Bill and I are able to work from home and that we can choose to keep our child home from daycare.

2. I'm grateful to live in a house with a yard

3. Each day, I thank the me of the past 2 weeks that I went to the stores to get provisions

4. I am so thankful for the internet, texting, Facetime, etc so that we are able to stay in touch with each other.  Sharae and I had a virtual happy hour on Saturday, which I'm sure will be the first of many of these

5. I'm so grateful that the people I love most in the world all live in states with governors who give a damn.  Both Ohio and Maryland governors are really leading the nation in their efforts and New York's governor is taking action as well.  In a time that feels like we are left without a leader, it's good to have someone to look to and to feel like there's someone in charge who cares and is taking action.

With that, I'm off to sleep.  I actually feel a lot better -- I may try to do this gratitude practice nightly! 

Friday, March 13, 2020

Coronavirus Stream-of-Consciousness, 3/12/2020

Here are some real-time thoughts from what feels like the end of days.  I'm writing this on the fly as I would in my journal. Welcome to my mind, glad to have ya.  Definitely haven't edited this and don't intend to.  Coronavirus/COVID-19 has come to the US and it's spreading rapidly.

Ever since I first heard about the virus in Wuhan, I've been uneasy.  It spread SO fast.  There were videos of them literally trying to sanitize the streets with a huge chemical sprayer.  People were terrified - they even put masks on their dogs for walks.  Speaking of, a dog actually caught it from a human so not even pets are safe. We then learned that masks won't help you stay healthy, not really even the special n95 ones.  Nevertheless, they started to sell out here in the US before there was even a single case here. It started to show up in other countries across the world, Iran, South Korea, and more. Then Italy. Not sure when it came here, but Seattle was the first and my friend was actually visiting there at the time. So many people kept saying they weren't that worried about it, they are more worried about the flu "because it kills more people" (wrong) or it's "just a cold" (also wrong).

We went to Ohio last week for 2 funerals (more to come on that).  Before we left, I ran to Costco to stock up on some food just in case. I didn't get a ton, just some canned vegetables, coffee, some things for Haddie, and yes... toilet paper.  They were sold out of water.  We left Thursday. There were cases in Washington state and New York, but it didn't seem like a lot.  Well, on our way there, we saw on the news that Maryland declared a state of emergency as there were 3 cases in Montgomery County, which is a neighboring county to me and where I had spent half my time the past 2 weeks.  We called my mom and she said to come anyways -- turns out my dad's cousins who were there also were also from an area of emergency (Chicago) which alleviated my fears a bit bc at least we were equally being risky? I don't know.

I shared on my Facebook that MD was in a state of emergency and was met with a bunch of nasty remarks with people commenting it was an overreaction and then arguing back and forth.  It made me wish I had never even posted it and was just the beginning of what would later come on social media.

Ohio (at the time) wasn't freaking out.  Some people were stocking up, but not much.  We decided, as well as my cousins, that it would be smart to run to Meijer and stock up on non-perishable food and supplies for at least 2 weeks and bring it back with us, just in case.  I got a ton of canned foods, soups, pouches for Haddie, medicine, etc, and a bunch of water. I was surprised to find that they were out of hand sanitizer.  Marty and Tom were also concerned as there was a death in their town, actually down the street, due to the virus.  But for the most part, we lived our regular lives last weekend.

I was starting to freak out and Amy sent me a podcast that was somehow supposed to make me feel better, but I listened to it and it had me freaking out more than ever.  It was around this time that this started to be all I can think about! It's so hard to get other things done or see the good in the world.

WELL. Things have escalated and quickly.  Italy is in an actual crisis.  3 weeks ago they had 3 cases, now they have over 10,000 and over 800 people are dead. 200 people died in a single day. These are people who were alive just 3 weeks ago and now they aren't, because of this virus. The entire country is on lockdown.  The hospitals are overburdened and doctors are literally having to make a choice of who lives and who dies.  They are saying this can happen here, almost 70% of the population will likely get it.

We got back on Sunday. Haddie went to school Monday-Wednesday and Bill went to work.  Every day, more and more cases.  More and more deaths.  More notices about places where contagious people may have been.  The first DC case. The first VA case, the first case in my county. The first 3 cases in Ohio, in a county where many relatives live.

I have been so truly shocked, confused, and saddened by some of my family member and hometown friends' reactions to everything - so many people have said that everyone prepping is an over reaction, that people are stupid because they are buying up toilet paper (honestly if I see one more stupid post or meme or joke about toilet paper, I'm going to lose it), that it's a liberal hoax, that it's not as bad as the flu, that it's just a little cold -- it's enraging and literally SO shocking to me.  I don't understand how people can be so obtuse.  I've been really cutting back on interacting with others on Facebook because I honestly don't have the energy to argue with people, even though I know the facts.  I absolutely have not been overreacting, but even if I was, who cares?  I didn't hoard anything, I simply bought things that my family will eventually eat.  We've been avoiding public places as much as possible and I've cancelled all plans coming up.  I'm quite literally not bothering anyone else and in fact doing the actual opposite.  Everything I have read says that social distancing and canceling social events, no matter how small, is the number one way to literally save lives.

It was officially declared a pandemic on Wednesday. After texting with Bill a bit, we decided I should run to Costco and do a final stock up.  We realized that while we had a lot of canned/dry goods, we actually didn't have anything fresh to eat now and no meat.  I dashed to the store, hoping to beat the rush, but no luck -- people were literally scrambling to get the remaining carts.  I was able to get a bunch of meat - chicken, ground turkey, steak, ground beef, mahi mahi, veggies, milk, and was out of there in under an hour.  I also placed a couple of online orders for diapers and cat litter.

In the middle of the day, I had an actual panic attack because I saw an update from daycare that Haddie had eaten shepherd's pie for lunch, which has dairy in it.  She was supposed to get the vegan curry option instead. I was so afraid we were going to have to take her to the ER which is the last place I want to be right now.  My entire body was like awash with anxiety -- I got hives and I felt all prickly! I was shaking and almost crying. Her getting sick from something that an adult who she trusts feeds her is one of the saddest things I can imagine. I called the school and turns out it was just a reporting mistake putting it into the app.  PHEW but still.  That was scary.

Before I picked up Haddie, I also dashed to Giant for some alcohol ha. If we are going to be quarantined or on lockdown, we will need supplies ha ha.  I got us a box of wine and some beer for Bill -- annoyingly they didn't have any White Claw.  I also grabbed dairy free creamer and cheese, cilantro, fish sticks, fries, and finally some canned fruit -- it was sold out everywhere!  I made it to get Haddie in the nick (knick?) of time at 5:59.  Her director said "see you tomorrow!" and I had a weird feeling that she would not, in fact, be seeing us tomorrow.

Well tomorrow is today and things REALLY blew up today.

Bill woke up not feeling very well.  No fever, but still.  Not smart to go in, plus I would prefer he not go in at all anymore ever.  We are just praying for the notice that he's able to telework.  He decided to stay home.  We debated taking Haddie but ultimately decided that it's just not worth the risk.  I am really happy with the decision.  I told my mom and my dad later texted me "good decision keeping Haddie home."  I'm grateful that I am able to have her home.

All day/week long today, it's been a barrage of learning about things being shut down and canceled.  Washington state has banned public gatherings of over 200 people. There's a containment area set up in New Rochelle NY. We heard stories of an attorney going in and out of NYC and unknowingly infecting at least 50 people.  You can have no symptoms for up to 14 days.

Two conferences held in DC had attendees that were later confirmed to be positive for the virus. Speaking of conferences, every conference that all of my friends were supposed to attend have been canceled.

I don't understand how other people have been able to go about their daily lives, when this is all I can focus on.  It's almost as if I could anticipate the future - I could see chaos brewing and I knew it was going to spread.  I know the virus is out there, waiting to get me at any moment.  I've been following the steps and handwashing nonstop, using sanitizer when I can't, and avoid public places as much as possible with the exception of shopping as fast as possible.  But I see everyone else just nonchalantly living their lives and doing normal things and I just don't understand how anyone can think of anything else at a time like this!

It is rumored that someone at the headquarters of my company has it.

Last night, Pres Trump came on the air for a live address to the nation and said that all travel from Europe is banned. For once, I was glued to the screen listening to every single word that he said.

Later, Tom Hanks announced that he and his wife both have it.  Trudeau's wife has it. A Brazilian that Trump shook hands with has it.  We found out today that a resident of my town has it.

A book festival I was set to volunteer at got canceled, then a fun kids consignment sale I've been looking forward to.  Cherry Blossom festival events.  St. Patrick's Day parades.  The NBA and other professional sports.  They first announced that March Madness would be held without spectators, but now they announced  is canceled and UD had a real shot of winning.  Public schools are canceled in Ohio and here in Maryland until April.  Disneyland is closing.  NBA and other professional sports are canceled. My sister's musical is canceled (and her job for the time being as schools are closed).

I spent a lot of the morning being angry at people whining about things being canceled and closed and how it's such an overreaction.  People whining because their kids don't get to compete in championships or their St. Patrick's Day parade is closed.  So many memes being posted about how it's all a joke and a hoax and I was just infuriated.  I could barely read some of my family and friends comments to each other and on things.  It's like I want to delete half my Facebook, but I want to see how it all plays out. 

At work today, every phone call started with talk about coronavirus.  Every time anyone mentioned people overreacting, someone chimed in with a voice of reason to explain why this is serious.  I am glad to see it's catching on that this isn't a joke.

My friends and I have had running text threads for the last couple of days, talking to each other about every update.  Did you hear about what's happening in this state or this city?  Did you hear another new case here, or there?  Did you hear so and so has it?  It's a scary taste of what's to come.

I video chatted with my mom around 6pm - she was calling to give me all the updates about Ohio - no events over 100 people, all schools closed until April, all sporting events closed, people are being urged to use online ordering at the grocery store.  She's taking it very seriously and I'm glad to hear that.  She said never in her entire life has she seen this type of response by the government and it has her scared.

UPDATE It's 11:30 pm and everything is closing all across the country. Disney World now too and the Smithsonian museums. Here in Maryland, the National Guard is activated, all schools are closed, public buildings are closed, no passenger travel is allowed at the ports, and events of over 250 are banned.

There are reportedly hundreds of thousands of people, millions likely, walking around with the virus but we just don't know because there aren't enough tests.  The governor of Ohio estimated that there are 100,000 cases (or 1% of the population) just in Ohio alone.  That is terrifying! Oh and I have a cough, did I mention that?  I've been coughing on and off for a week or so.  I have also been SUPER tired some evenings.  It happens to be allergy season too and I don't have a fever, but it's sure an alarming time to have a cough.  Half the time I'm wondering if it's in my head but then I literally have to cough, so I'm fairly certain it's real.  I am a hypochondriac from way back though, so I always question my own self.

We got a taste of what social distancing/quarantine/lockdown might be like in our neighborhood today as seemingly everyone was outside in the evening.  I was totally skeeved out when kids came over to try to play with Haddie and I think my neighbor realized because he went to give her a high five and changed it into an elbow bump.  I feel like we are going to get to know our neighbors a lot better in the coming weeks.  But from a safe distance.  I'm going to get better at ensuring 6 ft distance between us.

A lot of the people who were I don't know, ignoring the situation or thinking it wasn't actually going to get serious have now been rushing to the store and it seems like everything is truly sold out.  The shelves are straight up barren (bare?) at our Costco.  I heard there was no parking at Aldi or Giant.  The wheels have come off the bus so it seems.

So that's where we are. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared.  This feels scary.  This feels like an unprecedented pandemic the likes of which no one alive has seen before. Except I guess for some 102+ year olds who were alive during the Spanish Flu. Swine Flu didn't feel like this.  I also didn't have a husband and a child of my own during the Swine Flu.  I was barely an adult myself and I don't think I understood the gravity of the situation, but also the government didn't do anything like they are doing now, so this just feels different.  It feels like the end of the world, or like we are on the cusp of something really really bad.  I am trying to not panic because I am prepared.  I'm armed with provisions and knowledge.  We are doing the best we can to protect our little family.  But I worry for everyone else.  What this all is going to mean.  I hate being so far away from my family, especially all of the older members who they say are most at risk.  I know that I'm freaking out and I can see that I'm spiraling a bit, but I don't think it's unwarranted.  I also don't care if I've overreacted, I would love for this all to be an overreaction, but I don't think it is.  I think we are in for a long haul. I read an article that said Americans lives are about to majorly change in ways we have never seen.

I am able to add a little brevity to my life, though.  I'm not completely tripping.  I am catsitting and I sent the owners a text that said "you must really trust me, leaving valuables out in the open like that!" They said "huh?" and I sent them a picture of the Purell on their counter. Har har har.  My brain is just running constantly with thoughts and I can't think of a single way to wrap this up other than to sign off with my new slogan, a spin off one of my fave podcasts, My Favorite Murder, stay sexy and don't get COVID-19.

Monday, February 3, 2020

A cute thing Haddie did

Haddie did something cute the other day and I want to write about it so I never forget it.  Pumpkin knocked a bowl of (dry) Cheerios onto the floor so I was looking everywhere for our broom and dustpan and couldn't find them anywhere.  I was getting pretty aggravated looking everywhere and I heard Haddie talking but kind of ignored it because she's always babbling, but then I realized what she was saying.  She said "MOMMY.  Me help, me help!!" I turned around to look at her and she was holding her little broom and dustpan from her Melissa & Doug cleaning set and my heart just about exploded.  It was so adorable and smart!

And that is the end of this post.  Thank you for your time. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

My "Desert" Island Movies

I have been listening to the Office Ladies podcast where the actresses who played Angela & Pam rehash each episode and they recently did one of my favorites, The Fire.  In it, the characters play a game where they list which movies they would choose to take with them to a "desert" island, which Angela pointed out should definitely be "deserted," haha.  The actresses listed which movies they would take and it got me thinking which ones I would take.  Basically it's movies you would watch again and again for the rest of forever.  I don't know for sure if there's a limit on the number you can pick but they both went with 5, so that's what I'm limiting mine to. Here they are:

1. Legally Blonde
2. Harry Potter - any of them, #4 if I was given a choice
3. A League of Their Own
4. Christmas Vacation
5. The Parent Trap

Those were hard for me to pick! It would be much easier for me to choose which tv shows I would take which would be The Office, Sex and the City, The West Wing, Gilmore Girls, and Parenthood.

What would you choose?

Monday, January 6, 2020

2020 Resolutions

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

Ahhh there's nothing I love more than a fresh start! Not only is this the beginning of the new year, but a new DECADE!  I feel like people aren't being NEARLY as excited about this as they should be.  2020!!!!! I remember thinking about 2020 as a kid and it seemed light years away.

Haddie and I were in Ohio last week to celebrate New Year's Eve with my family at my parents' annual party.  As always, I burnt my resolutions in the fireplace with my sister and Kyle.  This year we declared it "the year of the plate" because I couldn't find a piece of paper anywhere so had to be resourceful LOL.

Without further ado, here are my 2020 resolutions/goals:

A lot of them are sort of intertwined and build off the other, but I don't feel like figuring out how to write this in an organized fashion so this is how they were written on the plate.

$$$$$ - 2020 is the year of money.  I want to make and save as much money as possible.  For purposes of my goals, I'm talking my money and not Bill's money or our shared money.


Improve overall health

Wean Haddie by the end of January (or at least wean her to before bed only)

Keep my house clean and tidy and continue to get it even more organized and homey

Travel LESS - I feel like since Haddie has been born, we have been non-stop traveling.  I want to scale it way back and try to stay put more often.

Rekindle with Bill - this doesn't mean ANYTHING is wrong with our marriage, but we have just not been putting it on the forefront.  Work, Haddie, house stuff, we've been putting everything else on the forefront, but we want to take time this year to "date" each other and find ways to connect at home more often, even if it's as small as putting our phones/ipads away while we eat dinner.

Budget.  Most specifically food budget, but overall as well.  I am going to try the cash envelope method of budgeting in the first part of the year to see how that goes.

Pay off credit cards

Make a significant dent in my undergrad loans

Become successful on Instagram and enter the fashion arena (meaning I want to start sharing some of my outfits and Haddie's!)

The most important one is to have another baby! We would love to get pregnant and welcome our second baby this year, so please send good vibes our way for that. <3

A few things that didn't make it to the plate:

Create a content planner for Instagram/blog and stick to it

Get organized in every facet of life from my time management to our house to being prepared for the next day before I go to sleep. One big part of this is actually taking the time to do this. By the time I think about meal planning or prepping for the week, I'm already in the week.  Even this month! I wanted to create a content calendar for IG but here it is already Jan 6 and I haven't.  So this is a major goal!

Burn through my Bath & Body Works candles. Only buy new ones when they are on super sale and replace my collection with cleaner-burning candles (soy, essential oils).

Focus on creating positive energy around me.  Clean space, positive people, positive thoughts, etc.

Write my thesis

Create a good work space for myself in our house

Wedding-related goals.  These goals are: order our wedding album and prints from our photography, make our honeymoon photobook, and get my dress preserved.

Can I just say I felt personally victimized by this meme?

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

2019 Resolutions Review

As always, most of my resolution remain unfulfilled lol.  Maybe this year will be the year I actually achieve my goals? I don't feel bad about not meeting them because my interests changed a bit and I did progress towards almost all of them. 

1. Get organized. I did really good at this.  It took most of the year but I feel like I'm officially a tidy person now.  It takes work, but I've managed to get our home to an easily-managed state.

2. Pay off all credit cards and then save save save! Well, I did pay them down, but then they ran back up again.

3. Get Haddie sleeping through the night in her crib by 15 months Literal LOL.  No.

4. Really return to blogging. #nope

5. Work out 200 times. I actually didn't officially work out ONCE, but I did get more active this year with walks, swimming, etc. 

6. Cooking. I want to become more efficient with my cooking and have dinner done early (by 6/6:30), make healthier recipes, budget better, and meal plan.  I enjoy cooking but it's often a source of frustration for me lately. Bonus: Plant a garden this summer and grow/eat our own food. *Left the description in for this one.  I did ok at this.  I definitely have become more efficient but need to get better at budgeting*

7. Read more - at least 10 books. I don't think I read 10, but I read a few.

8. Continue to fine-tune my friendships.  I've done a good job of letting people go and showing up more for friends, but I want to do more of this and I need to branch out to try to make some more mom friends and get to know our neighbors.  *I didn't have much time for socializing, so didn't do much on this*

9. Reclaim my handwriting. This might sound silly, but something embarrassing about my high school self is that I really want to be like the cool kids and the all seemed to write in a similar way so I totally stopped writing in my neat cursive and copied the hybrid print/cursive that all the cool girls were doing.  Writing in actual cursive is a lot prettier and I want to have my "own" handwriting back.  I've been looking at my old journals and remembering how I used to write, so I"m trying to do this more often. By the end of the year, I'm hoping to write like my old self again! *I forgot all about this but I feel like I have been doing it naturally*

10. Write in my physical journal on a regular basis Nope

11. Publish my monthly goals.  I started this in the beginning of the year, but I never accomplished them because I ended up doing other things.

12. Work towards Baby #2 - Well, big fat no on this one.  Mega sigh.
© Candy Rain Theme 2017
By Cherry Templates.
Candy Rain