Sunday, November 17, 2019

The day before daycare

Haddie starts daycare tomorrow for the first time and I have a lot of feelings about it.  We have spent the better part of every single day together together for the past 21.5 months.  Literally almost 24 hours a day.  It's like she's an extension of my own being.  Tomorrow, we will drop her off and she will be away from me.  Not with Bill, not with my parents, but with strangers, away. Not in a different room, not on a different floor, not outside when I'm inside, but completely apart from me. I actually truly cannot even imagine what it's going to feel like to not know exactly what she's doing every second of the day.  What she's playing with, how she's feeling, is she happy/sad/scared/excited/tired?  Will she make friends? Will she like the toys they have there?  Will she be ok napping on a cot?!  She's rarely ever fallen asleep for a nap outside of my arms.  I won't hear her sweet little voice saying MAMA all day long. I won't have my constant sidekick.

But I will also be able to get work done.  I will be able to clean the house and grocery shop and make dinner without her pulling at me.  I'll able to have a second to myself to just be and live and breathe. But the closer the moment to dropping her off comes, the less I feel like I actually need this. I know I do, though - my doctor literally prescribed daycare/childcare.  Raising a child away from all family is not for the faint of heart. 

I'm very scared for her allergy.  The directors seem understanding and they have written documentation from her doctor.  We will be bringing backup breakfasts, snacks, and lunches for days when dairy is served, but I can't help but be nervous.  I keep joking that I want to tattoo NO MILK on her face.

I think it will be a good thing in the end.  She will gain independence, she will be able to have care focused on her all day long rather than me being pulled in a million directions and feeling like I'm half-failing at all of it. She will learn how to interact with other kids, to share, and make friends.  She'll get to do all sorts of fun crafts and activities. 

I know that she'll inevitably get sick a million times, but that it will build her immunity for when she starts school.

Right now the plan is to only put her in 3 days a week, so it's not even full time, but I can't help but feel that we are on the cusp of the rest of her life of her being in school and breaking away from me a little bit at a time.

Since I'll have more time, I plan to be on here more often.  Until now, wish me luck tomorrow because I'm sure I will need it. 

Monday, July 22, 2019

Greetings, earthlings

You guys, I changed my blog look and I am in love.  I'm still working on the header, but OMG do I ever love the layout. I like it 1000x better than what I had before.  Do you like it? 

It's so dumb, but I kept feeling like I couldn't really write because I didn't like how my online space looked.  Now I like it, so I have no excuses!

I'll be back in the next couple of days with Haddie's 18 month update and a recap of summer so far.  Stay tuned!

Friday, June 28, 2019

Five on Friday

1. It's summer guys.  It's summer and it's so hot and I hate it and I'm ready for fall.  I was really hoping having a child would make me more of a summer person but yeah, no.  It's just making me hate it more because all she wants is to be outside and it's just too hot!

2. Haddie's had a rough last couple of days! Last night we were making a card for her friend and she needed some help closing her marker so I snapped it shut, but it caught the skin of her pinkie finger and took out a big chunk.  She cried nonstop for 3 hours which I think is the longest she's ever cried without us being able to console her! It was awful and I felt like the worst mom in the world.  All night long she woke up whimpering and kept her hand in the air. Every time that her bandaid falls off, she cries hysterically. Then, she was playing downstairs and ran full force into our door frame which is reinforced with a steel beam and now she has a lovely raised black bruise running down the middle of her forehead.  Also: I had to let our babysitter go early today because she just was so hysterical. He also let the cat out twice so I had to chase him. Oh and she's getting basically all of the rest of her teeth at once. It's been fun around here!

3.  We've added a couple of new recipes to our regular rotation.  First up is the easiest, tastiest, quickest dinner, "Mom's Ground Turkey and Peppers."  Easy, breezy, filling, delicious and like oddly satisfying.  We have served it over couscous and rice.  I preferred couscous, but Bill preferred rice.  The other is this Dairy Free Chicken Tetrazzini. Chicken tetrazinni is one of my all-time favorite comfort food meals, so I was really happy to find a replacement.

4. I ordered a new Erin Condren planner and I cannot wait for it to arrive. I first used one for the first time last year and I really enjoyed it.  They are expensive AF though so I've been trying a different brand this year and I hate it.  I saw that she released her July 2019-December 2020 ones and decided to just go for it.  I also bought a bunch of stickers and pens from Amazon today. This is going to sound so lame, but I am so looking forward to my old familiar planner! It's going to feel like reuniting with an old friend.  I love the idea of using the same brand of planner every year, like a safe friend to follow me through life.  Now that I sound crazy, moving on...

5.  Who else watches Real Housewives?  I am not caught up on NYC, but I am caught up on BH and I have to say -- I'm a fan of Dorit now and I'm so confused.  Where has this like come from?  Why did I dislike her before?  I'm just so perplexed all around lol.  What are your feelings on her?

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Life lately

You know what would be cool?  If I actually blogged more than one a millennium.

Time seems to be flying by. I don't even know what month it is anymore, let alone what day.  Oy.

The saying that the years are short but the days are long sure is true, eh? 

I am here without a whole lot to say other than I miss writing a real blog where I write about actual things and actual topics and tell you about my life.

We have done quite a bit of traveling lately. In May, Haddie & I went to Ohio for my Mom's 60th birthday!  We threw her a family bash and I put together a video of all her friends and family wishing her a happy birthday.  I think she loved it! 

Later that month, all 3 of us drove to Cleveland for my cousin Grayson's high school graduation.  It was great to catch up with my extended family.  I'm just so proud of Grayson too.  A little brag about her - she's an amazing artist and true fashionista.  She'll be majoring in fashion design and I cannot wait to see what she will accomplish!

A couple of weeks ago (last week? Who knows really?), we went to NYC for 2 days and stayed with my brother-in-law.  We smashed a lot into those 2 days including a day in Central Park (my first time ever, finally!).  Hopefully will recap the trip in a later post.  The next day, we drove to Rhode Island for my cousin Sofie's high school graduation party!  She is also a bright young lady and will be majoring in forensic science -- what a smarty pants! It's hard to believe my 2 baby girl cousins are now adults off to college!  It was a whirlwind trip to RI and almost feels like we didn't even really go there!  My friend Tara came up from Connecticut and spent most of the day there.  She finally met Haddie for the first time and it was a blast to catch up with her.

We are tired of traveling.  I would say that I hope not to go anywhere for a long time, but we already have some trips in the books including a trip for our anniversary!  10 years dating!  3 married.  We are thinking a cruise in Jan or Feb even though our anniversary is in September.  We just want some more time to get ready for it.

Anyways, what else is going on? We finally found a babysitter.  He comes a couple of days a week and plays with Haddie for a couple of hours while I get some work done. So far I've been doing actual work, but I would love to also take advantage of the time he's here to get some housework done.  He's sadly only with us for a couple more weeks before he heads off to his first year of college.  I am on the hunt for another sitter or a coworking/daycare space.

A lot of my time these days is spending trying to get work done while taking care of a toddler.  It's just not going well.  When I'm not working, I'm trying to get housework or cooking done while taking care of a toddler.  I end up feeling bad that I'm not giving her my full attention and so I do, and then the housework falls to the wayside.  The struggle is real, man! My work project ends in a couple of months but I'm hoping that something new will come alone so that I can keep working from home part time. Even though it's hard, the additional income is really nice to have.  It allows us to feel like we can breathe more easily and gives us a bit of discretionary spending.

I've had a few close encounters of the 8 legged kind lately and I am NOT into it.  There are dozens/hundreds/thousands of spiders in our yard, of a variety of species.  It's disgusting.  They will crawl onto anything we leave in the yard in a matter of an hour.  There were ten on Haddie's toy car so we can't leave toys out there anymore.  One dropped from nowhere into my bowl of salad a few weeks ago.  A spider crawled across my ipad while I was laying IN BED the other day and now I'm on the hunt for a pest control place to come treat our house.  The one in bed really pushed me over the edge and messed with my psyche.  I really don't like bugs, especially spiders, and it's making me want to move back to the city!  It's making me hate the suburbs, seriously.  I hope we are able to get some help with them because spiders and I are never going to learn to coexist.  I tried. 

Oh and in addition to spiders, we have something called tarantula hawk wasps.  They are nasty nasty creatures and I wouldn't believe we had them if I hadn't seen one with my own eyes, pulling away a huge wolf spider.  Google them.  Or don't, maybe.  They are gross.

Of course I don't really hate our town!  I'm actually loving it extra lately -- we have a parent listserv and I posted on it that I was looking to buy a cozy coupe (toy ride-on car for toddlers) and a toddler bike that the parent can push and I was given both of these things for free by my neighbors! I just washed them up really well and they are basically good as new!  We also went to the farmer's market for the first time on Saturday and bought some vegan cookies from a friend who now has a booth.  They were delicious. It's so nice to find dairy-free treats for us.  Even though I miss the city, I love that popping into the city really isn't difficult at all.  This past weekend, we went to Navy Yard for lunch and to let Haddie play in the splash park and pool.  I need to take her more often during the week because she seriously had a ball.

Now that I'm all itchy and creepy and crawly remembering our arachnid problem, I think I'll end this post here.  I could update you on a million things even though nothing exciting is happening.  I promise to at least try to show up here more often.


Monday, June 3, 2019

June Goals

Guys, literally LOL with me and these goals.  Why do I bother!

A review of May:

.: 1 :.

Follow the Clean Mama schedule for the full month.  They say it takes a month to make a habit so fingers crossed because I need to get my life in check!   Yea, this is a big NO.  I did it a few times but mostly just struggled to keep the house tidy. 

.: 2 :.

Complete the Feeding Littles toddlers course  NOPE

.: 3 :.

Stay off of my phone more when I'm with Haddie other than taking photos.  I notice that I've been spending wayyyy too much time on my phone as she gets better at independent play and I want to nip that in the bud!  I think I did a better job at this.  I feel like I've actually been online a lot more than usual, but I have been trying to do it during her naps only.

.: 4 :.

Take Haddie to at least one fun outing (with other kids) a week I didn't take her to official things like library times, but we made it to dinners/lunches, parks, family events so I'm counting it. 

.: 5 :.

Blog once a week

June goals:

1) Order all of my Father's Day gifts by the end of this week.

2) Finish the Feeding Littles Course

3) Get the entire house organized.  Yes, the entire house.

4) Pack in advance for NYC/RI and plan the trip so that it is as stress-free as possible.  Stick to/create feeding, nap, and bedtime schedule on the trip so Haddie's in good spirits and the trip isn't as exhausting as usual.

I'm working on building my Instagram to that I can start utilizing it as an income stream but also boost my blog so my next couple of goals are Instagram-related:

5) Get to 500 followers

6) Post a photo daily

7) Start doing more DC-related posts including utilizing old photos with fresh edits

8) Start using Plann to help me with Instagram

Blogging goals

9) Blog 3x - a nice, achievable goal!

10) Write a post on the books I've read so far in 2019

11) Find yet another new theme.  I hate this one.

ALRIGHTY THERE YOU HAVE IT. Goals that I probably won't accomplish, but hey, maybe I'll surprise myself and all of us!

Sunday, May 5, 2019

May Goals

IT IS CLEAR THAT I AM NOT GOOD AT SETTING REALISTIC GOALS so this month I'm trying something smaller and only doing 5.  It's Cinco de Mayo after, all! 

First, April review (LOLZ):

So, April goals:

1. Read 4 more books.  I'm loving reading again and it would be fun to read a book a week.  - I have been working on one book the whole month.
2. Work out 5x. That's all, just once a week! Ish?  I didn't officially work out even once but I did make an effort to get out and walk more
2a. - specifically, go to at least one yoga class Fail
3. Make our dang honeymoon photobook. I feel like this is never going to get done if I don't just sit down and DO it! Nope. 
4. Continue organizing the house.  Main goals: master bedroom, den, rec/storage room Our house went to hell in a handbasket this month
5. Deep clean the house - specifically, steam clean the carpets and deep SCRUB all parts of the kitchen and bathrooms Not all of these things, but I DID deep clean the bathrooms.
6. Pay all outstanding bills (doctor's bills, parking tickets, etc) YES!
7. Make bath bombs Negatory, but I've also decided not to do this
8. Use up ALL produce and other perishables that I buy from the grocery store (I posted an IGTV showing this week's grocery haul. So far so good with using things!)  I did such a good job of this in fact that we are totally out of anything fresh to eat haha
9. Lower our energy bill.  It has been insane. We've been trying some tips to save energy and I'm interested to see if they are working.    YES!!!!! We got it down $139.  We get a little notification of how much we are using compared to similar homes - we were at 192% higher! Now "only" 105%, but definite progress.
10. Work on getting Haddie sleeping in her crib  No progress
11. Mail things in a timely fashion - candles I sell, birthday presents, cards, etc. Everything was mailed on time!
12. File our taxes this week (do NOT wait until the last minute like we normally do) We did them early in the month and had our refund before the deadline.  Felt so nice!
13. Figure out our travel plans for the summer Getting closer, but it's still not figured out and it's stressing me out
14. Research, not necessarily open, college saving accounts for Haddie Nerp
15. Blog 3x a week.  I know, I know.  I always say this and you wouldn't think it would be so hard to just sit down and write.  It shouldn't be, but it is. Clearly no
16. Figure out what I'm doing for my parents upcoming 60th birthdays  Mom's figured out, Dad is coming together.  Hoping to blog about it when they are over!
17. Proactively put together a cute Easter basket for Haddie. Don't stress, don't spend stupid amounts of money on things she won't even like/use, etc.    Yes! I did spend some $ but she loved everything and  is getting use out of it all. 
18. Complete the Feeding Littles toddler course
19. Take pictures with cherry blossoms YES! We went to the National Arboretum and they were so pretty
20. Go to the aquarium (need to get my money's worth out of my year membership!) No, but it's on the agenda for this week

So I completed 8/20 goals which is 40%.  Lol.

My 5 small goals for May are as follows:

.: 1 :.

Follow the Clean Mama schedule for the full month.  They say it takes a month to make a habit so fingers crossed because I need to get my life in check!

.: 2 :.

Complete the Feeding Littles toddlers course

.: 3 :.

Stay off of my phone more when I'm with Haddie other than taking photos.  I notice that I've been spending wayyyy too much time on my phone as she gets better at independent play and I want to nip that in the bud!

.: 4 :.

Take Haddie to at least one fun outing (with other kids) a week

.: 5 :.

Blog once a week

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Coffee Date

I am having a solo coffee date right now. I'm supposed to be working, and I will, but couldn't resist the urge to take a moment to write.  It's so rare that I have time by myself to get things done.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that the weather has been hot, near or over 80, all week and I'm over it.  Our air conditioning is broken and it's just sticky and hot and miserable in our house.  First world problem, I know, but I'm not into it.  Bill and his dad tried to fix it to no avail, so we are going to call someone tomorrow.  The joys of home ownership, right?!

HOWEVER, despite my annoyance with the heat, it also gave us the opportunity to get out and explore a few parks near us.  I met up with a couple of moms from a local moms Facebook group last week at a playground.  Haddie was too small to really enjoy it and bit the dust in the mulch a few times resulting in a scratched and bruised face, but she still had fun.  Afterwards, we took a long stroller walk around the pond so I could get a little exercise.  I was kinda proud of myself for actually meeting up with them! I'm always wanting to make new mom friends, but then get nervous and cancel.  So, it was a good experience and I hope to meet up with them again soon. 

Yesterday, we tried another park that we've heard good things about.  The "ground" is rubber so kids don't get as hurt when they fall.  Haddie was again too small for most things, but she had fun holding our hands and dragging us around the park.  It was also crazy crowded, so I'm not sure we'll go on the weekend again!

I would tell you that I've got #goals swimming around in my head.  New readers may not know this, but I am this close to having a master's degree in Government, but I never finished (or um, started) my thesis!  Every year I think about doing it and meet with the professors and write a draft of an outline and then it just fizzles out.  Well, I finally have a new topic that interests me and I want to really do it.  I've emailed the thesis professor and I'm waiting to hear her thoughts before I delve into research and writing, but hopefully this will be the year that I actually do it.  I also still really do want to pass the bar exam but I am thinking about starting small by retaking the MPRE in August, which is the ethics exam.  To take the bar in Maryland, I have to retake it since it's been 3 years since I last took it.

I would tell you that weaning Haddie and getting her sleeping the full night in her crib has not been going well.  Most days I'm able to cut out her morning feed and sometimes daytime ones, but at night she's just a nursing monster and I also can't successfully get her down for a nap without nursing her to sleep.  Woof.  As for the crib, I really just need to dedicate a few nights to me getting zero sleep. Or do it on the weekend when Bill can help.  Open to tips that aren't cry it out!

I'd tell you that we are getting excited for our garden.  We were originally going to grow things from seeds but LOL at that. Instead, Bill is building some raised beds and we are going to get plants from the nursery.  We are thinking tomatoes, cucumbers, onions (if that's possible), green onions, and an herb garden.  Any other recommendations? I think we'll also plant some pumpkins - in the ground though, not the beds.  I'm a little nervous because there's a ton of wildlife in our neighborhood but fingers crossed.

I could chat all day, but I need to wrap it up so the last thing I'll tell you is that I've been on a huge reading kick! I've read 6 books in the past couple months which is huge for me and more than I've read in ages.  I think I will even do a quick post on them soon. I read them all via Kindle rentals from the library which is my new favorite way to read books.  I have the Paperwhite which is backlit and allows me to read in the dark when I'm nursing late-night or everyone else is sleeping!

Alright, time for me to get some actual work done before I head home and pick up Haddie.  We are going to the mall to try to find a dress for my friend's wedding next weekend.  Wish me luck!


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