Jul 19, 2021

I'm back and also I'm done but don't worry I really am back

So it's been AWHILE since I've posted, like almost a year and I'm back with a stream of conscious post and no pics. 

I was so into the idea of potentially making my blog a source of income and doing the same with Instagram that I lost sight of why I even like blogging.  I like it FOR ME.  I like having running memories of everything to look back on. I also got completely obsessed over the fear of having my children's faces, names, and information about them out there online that it stymied me and I just stopped posting.  My Instagram has totally dwindled out too, to the point where I never post and I kind of hate how my feed even looks. I have no idea how trying to take better photos ended up making me take worse photos, but whatever.  It's like the harder I try, the worst it gets. I was looking back through my old, personal IG account the other day and I had so many memories of Haddie as a baby until she was about 2 and then it stopped.  And now Instagram is saying it's not even a photo sharing app any more, but a video app and I'm just not into that.  I have no desire to learn how to make reels or TikToks.  I just don't feel like adapting.  I think video might be where my interest in social media kind of taps out.  And so, I'm back to my blog.  

I want write more often and just do it however I want. Not every post has to be "pin-worthy" or "provide value to my reader."  I want to journal my family's life and maintain a snapshot in time.  If some helpful content comes along the way, then so be it but I'm done trying to make a second career out of this when I have literally zero time and minimal desire to conform to what is necessary to be successful. There is so much pressure out there amongst the social media community with quotes like "people quit when it's hard" or "you have the same number of hours in the day as everyone else" and I'm just over it. I don't CARE anymore.  I'm just over following people for the sake of following people so that they'll follow me.  I'm tired of following people from follow chains back in the day.  I'm tired of only following moms and people "in my niche." I'm tired of thinking what my pictures will look like when I post them.  I'm tired of getting my kids to pose certain ways so that it looks good.  I'm tired of editing photos.   I'm just over trying to make it happen.   Maybe one day I'll get back to it, but having a DC area mom IG account is just not it for me.  I don't have it in me. I'm literally maxed out and it's an added stress that I just do not need.  I'm not going to get rid of my account because I still like having it and I want to get back to just doing my blog and IG for me and my family and friends (and whoever actually enjoys following me bc they like me and not bc they have to).  I like that I have a safe space where there aren't a ton of pics that show their faces and I do like the GENERAL theme of my blog, like I do live in the nation's capital, so I hope to show more of that as we get out and about more often, but I'm just done trying to make it A THING and not just a fun hobby.

OKAY wow that was a ramble and honestly I have no idea if it even made sense but I'm hitting publish. 



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